'What you can do, or dream you can begin it...'
'...boldness has genius, power and magic in it' - this Goethe quote was one of many that used to adorn the walls of the drama studio at my secondary school and it echoed loudly in my mind in late December 2018: I had a story to tell and permission to tell it and now I had to 'begin it'. I was working in a show until Christmas Eve and on the 29th Dan and I were flying out to Canada to attend his cousins wedding and meet the Canadian branch of his family before our own wedding in May. Before we left, fixed in my intention, I ordered 'The Edinburgh Fringe Survival Guide' by Mark Fisher, it arrived whilst we were away, but as soon as we were back I opened it and began to read. It has a very useful section called 'The Timing' which begins from the August before you plan to go to the fringe ... well, I'd missed that ... and September, October, November ... I flicked forwards to January: 'to get the best venue and the best slots (you've) got to be approaching people in January'. It was midnight on the 13th January and Dan and I were due to go away again to New Zealand at the end of the week (I might add all this travel was completely out of the ordinary and neither of us had been abroad for four years, but it just so happened that the opportunities had come up together and we had said 'yes'). Exhausted from our flight home, my whole body began to buzz with adrenaline, overcharged with the reality of the challenge I now faced I did not sleep for hours. Would I begin, or would I back down? In any other circumstances my natural caution would have pulled me up at this obstacle to think ' I'll do it next year', but this play was screaming to be made and demanding that I rise to it's schedule, not fit it in to mine. Besides, the last six months had been about saying 'yes'; 'yes' to the wedding, 'yes' to travel, 'yes' - this story being told was not about me feeling ready, it had begun and it had it's own genius, power and magic in it.